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OSHA Fines Threaten to Close Down Santa Claus Corporation's North Pole Toy Factories

Written By Iniesta Estable on Sunday, November 25, 2012 | 4:31 AM

Apparently, there may be no Christmas this year as OSHA has levied steep fines on Santa Claus Corporation. It seems as if there are serious charges, fines, and even criminal negligence at issue in several of Santa Corporation's North Pole Factories. What has happened you ask?

Well, it appears that due to the strengthening of the Unions during President Barack Obama's stay in office most of the elves working in the Toy Factories have demanded more money, less work, more benefits and have staged strikes, work slowdowns, and sit ins. The company was forced to do a lock-out recently of all the elf workers, and there have been huge demonstrations, picketing, and threatened boycotts of Christmas all together.

The Santa Claus Corporation stated recently in the news that it was "troubled by the persnicketiness of the elves and their temper tantrums outside their facility," and they had no choice but to replace them with Eskimos and Polar Bears. Luckily, since Global Warming was cancelled and found out to be a fraudulent scheme to wrestle away the power and wealth from the oil companies, the Polar Bears have been having twice as many offspring.

Therefore, there is an abundance currently in North Pole Labor Markets, unfortunately, the unions lobbied their Senators to have OSHA come in and fine Santa Claus Corporation. OSHA inspectors did indeed find several violations of regulations. The worst one being a 40-ounce bottle of liquid paper, bought from Costco, which did not have an MSDS Sheet on file, and thus, violated the "right to know" rules for chemical substances in the work place.

Santa Claus CEO and Chairman Santa Claus the VII stated; "I do not know where the liquid paper came from, unless the elves were using it to cheat on their time cards, but with these huge fines, I am afraid we will have to close the factories now, and Christmas will be cancelled this year, God Bless OSHA."